Nice title, eh? I could have chosen "I is for Interruption", "D is for Disaster", "E is for Emotional Crisis", or "T is for Trauma", but I couldn't find the right match for the letter "H", which has been stumping me for the past month. Now, what I really want to convey is that I received word over the weekend that my Early Head Start program is being closed down by our parent agency, meaning that after July 3rd, I will be unemployed. This news certainly hit me with the force of a 4.0 quake, shaking up my sense of self and my upcoming plans.
I went through a school closure exactly three years ago, and was just getting used to a stable life again! I guess the gods don't want me to become too complacent.... it goes without saying that when I opened the letter on Saturday evening (after a lovely day working at the yarn shop), all peace of mind fled temporarily, and I felt a sense of doom and panic. I have had a rough few days, pondering where and how I would find a replacement job in the foundering economy compounding the challenges of living in a rural region. Commuting further than I have in the past year and a half would mean acquiring a small commute car, and better wages simply to cover the increased fuel costs; living part of the time away from home is an option employed by many of my rural neighbors, but not a particularly desirable one to me. I am normally optimistic, effervescent even.... I am still waiting for some of that spirit to fall back into place for me.
One of the most unpleasant fallouts has been the decision to cancel our trip to the Rockies. I do have to admit to a fit of giggles when asked by the travel agent as to why I wanted to cancel our flight. I answered "Because I just found out I am losing my job, and I could either go on vacation, blow all of my money and come home broke, or be practical and stay home". I feel much worse about disrupting Margene and Smith's plans than our own, and deprived by not getting to be with 'my people' during a time of crisis. All is not completely lost though... since I have the vacation time already set up for later this week, we are going on a visit to Glenn's parents, just in time to spend Father's Day with them. I will take lots of photos!
I also decided it would help me to make a list of all the things I still can do:
Work at Fibers - the LYS actually needs me a bit more over the summer anyway. My lace class on Wednesday has grown to 5 participants and I am looking forward to it. It is interesting to ponder that out of the eight full and/or part-time jobs I have held in the three years since my high school closed, this will shortly be the only one left! At least I get to pursue my passion, and get a discount on yarn.
Do Yoga - The class is just across the street, and practicing at home is free. I am just delving into Yoga for Arthritis and amending what I do with an eye to remaining a flexible as possible (hey, maybe my next post should be "H is for Health"!)
Knit - I have enough stash-based projects lined up to keep me going for something like a year, even if I have to stop buying yarn.
Spin - A corollary to the above; I have enough fiber stashed to fill in at least part of year two; if I alternate knitting and spinning and start turning the fiber into yarn I can then knit up into new projects. The latest issue of Spin-off arrived in the same mail as my termination letter, and once the initial fog had lifted and I peeked through the issue last night, I decided that I must spin up some of my stash to make a Morning Surf scarf... the gallery of ten versions of handspun knit into this pattern is one of the loveliest features the magazine has done recently. I like Kristi's latest sock pattern too, though, and the Old Shale shawl - take a look.
Hike - This is the start of the prime hiking season here in the mountains, and I certainly could benefit from hiking all day, every day... I could stand to lose ten pounds. I will also be able to walk the dogs more!
Garden - The cost of putting in a garden is mostly behind us, and I can weed and water to my heart's content, while watching my plants grow into food... what's not to love about that arrangement.
Read - I can stop by the library and pick up books on my way home from my Saturdays working at the LYS, as well as DVDs for DH. I will never, ever be able to run out of things to read, and that has been a dilemma since I was a child.
Blog - Oh, yeah... there's something that has been sorely neglected because of all the other demand on my time. There is a slight catch-22; I had been researching satellite Internet and the cost will probably now knock it off the budget of an unemployed grrl...
Making a list has helped me to see that so much of my life is still solid, though the part that is unraveling may seem huge at first glance, it is fixable. Knitting sure teaches me good lessons to help me through the bad times.
